Preference and Judgmentalism

Delinking happiness to outcomes in life will not make you passive in life. What it means is that once an outcome has occurred, we must not judge it as good or bad. We may be having some expectations form life before some incident happens but we must suspend judgment once the event is over. This is like giving an exam with expectations of good marks, but once the scores arrive, we must not delve too much into whether our expectations were correct or not at the first place. We need to move forward from there and not repent about the past. This is because the past cannot be changed and it takes time and effort for judging our expectations, which is not required to be done at all, as it does not add any meaning to us and our life and learning.

Eliminate Judgmentalism

Judgmentalism is required to be eliminated after the occurrence of an incident in life. It is okay to have a preference before an incident. For instance, if you have to decide on a career choice, and you have to choose between law and medicine, then it is fine to assess al the preferences and the outcomes that each of the disciplines will lead to. However, once the decision has been taken, there should hardly be any looking back on the choices made.

Avoid Untoward Consequences

We must work to avoid any untoward consequences. Rather, try to add meaning and draw out value from the decision you have taken. There must not be an obsession with one’s passion. It is important to take passions and hobbies seriously, but it makes no sense to be so obsessive about them that we lose out on the other important and meaningful aspects of life. We must be indifferent to outcomes. It should not lead to loss of curiosity and interest. Loss of excitement in life is detrimental to happiness.

We don’t need to be welcoming to any outcome in life. We cannot be welcoming to negative incidents in life. But it is important not to attach too much importance to having positive outcomes at all times in life. Research shows that indifference to outcomes is a symptom of helplessness.

Be Preferential, Not Judgmental

To gain happiness in life is to have preference for some outcomes in life before they occur, but not to be judgmental for the outcomes after they have occurred. This way, we won’t let a part of our mental faculty to be diverted towards a wasteful activity of pondering over the past and we will be able to invest all our energy into meaningful thinking and learning from the events of life. This is the essence behind being not judgmental about thee occurrences in life.