Scales of Assertiveness
When people with different thoughts and sensibilities are put in some situation, they exhibit behavior that vary from one to another.
Let us observe four types of people and their different behaviors in those situations −
Scenario 1
Karan is a writer who likes to spend time with himself while writing. Every afternoon, his neighbor − who is a retired senior citizen − drops in for a casual chat. Karan doesn’t appreciate this daily intrusion on his privacy. How can he handle this situation?
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Passive − ( this is so not happening right now ) Hi Uncle! Come in. |
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Aggressive − ( time to put an end to this once and for all ) Look. This daily visiting has to stop. It’s difficult putting ideas on paper as it is, without you knocking at my door every single day. |
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Passive-aggressive − ( and here comes the lonely loser… ) Oh, hi! You totally knocked me over with this surprise visit. |
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Assertive − ( he doesn’t know that I’m busy. How do I put it before him? ) As I was saying about that writing assignment of mine- it is challenging and demands a lot of imagination from me. I would appreciate if I could spend some time in the afternoon with myself. We could still meet on the weekends. |
Scenario 2
Diya has been waiting in the queue of a subway inquiry post for the last 30 minutes to get the details of a particular train. Just when she is about to be attended to, a guy jumps the queue and requests her to let him put his query across. What would Diya do?
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Passive − (yeah… treat me like the push-over I am) Hmm… okay. |
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Aggressive − (just who does this prince think he is!) Why do you think I was waiting? Because there were other people. You do the same; it won’t hurt. |
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Passive-aggressive − (why don’t I just offer you a cup of tea too) Oh, sure. I was just checking the weather. |
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Assertive − (he seems to be in a hurry but I have been waiting for long too) I have been waiting for quite some time too. I won’t take very long, I promise. |
